Pearls Of Wisdom

I have been experiencing a dry-period with my children recently. Neither of them have shared their pearls of wisdom with me. I wonder if it's because they are all out of pearls of wisdom or have I been too busy with my higher learning? I truly love their pearls of wisdom; however, I hate it when they come to me in the car. I'm driving and it's hard to write and drive.

One of their most insightful remarks is that school sucks. They are right, school does suck. I can't argue that point with them anymore. Going back to school sucks even more than when I had to go.

That said...

Yesterday afternoon, I was at the dining room table going through library books, determining which I was going to use for my Nightmare Research Paper and which library the books came from so I could get them returned. Dustin had walked into the kitchen when I heard a clammer. Surprised, I turned around to find Dustin laying on the kitchen floor. Obviously, he had fallen.

"Buddy, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I tripped." Having just cleaned the house, I knew there was nothing on the floor to trip over.

"What'd you trip on, Dusty?" I asked, stacking books.

"My foot." Bless his heart.

"Are you okay? Do you need a kiss?" I'm always looking for a reason to kiss them. They're at that age where there MUST be a reason for me to kiss them.

Moms Are Gross.

Mom Kisses Are Grosser.

This event required an instant-replay for me to show me how one foot ran right into the side of the other foot. I'd like to ask how this happens, but it's not really necessary. I'm a total clutz. Dusty comes by this genetic defect honestly.

In case you are wondering, I got it from my father. He happens to have an issue with wearing boots that he's worn the heel off. My father's inability to stay upright keeps my husband in stitches.

A couple hours later, I was driving Dustin to basketball practice. It was just the two of us in the car and, for a switch, my child was not complaining about his short-comings on the basketball court. I don't think he has alot of short-comings when it comes to academics or athletics, but Dusty is his biggest critic. We're just chatting along when Dustin makes this revelation:

"People who live in trailers get whatever they want."

"They do? How do you figure, Dustin?"

"They want a new car, they go get one. They want a new cell phone, they go get one. They want a new video game, they just go get it." I'm trying to follow his logic, which at times is a very meandering path, and I'm not getting it. Although, I am well-aware my child wants his own cell phone and would be happy buying video games at every little whip-stitch.

His reasoning? "They just do."

I decided to try another angle, "What experience do you have with people who live in trailers?" Now, I know that there are several trailer parks that feed into our school. I have been through these trailer parks and I'm not going to say they are horrible, but like every neighborhood, you have your good ones and you have your bad ones. My in-laws had a trailer in Louisiana, it was like a castle.

"I don't know." I'm assuming a kid in his class lives in a trailer and he gets whatever he wants. Or it at least it he makes it appear that way to Dustin.

Total silence for about 45 seconds, as I am trying to decipher his reasoning: because I have long-complained to my children that they cost me a small fortune in water everytime they step in the shower, Dustin has decided he wants to live in a hotel. You don't get a water bill if you live in a hotel. You just pay for the room. I'm assuming, since he doesn't know much about trailers, he could possibly believe they are like a pull-behind camper--which is trailered--and therefore they are small and don't cost alot to live in. Especially if you just pull them around. No yard to mow, so no mower necessary? I still haven't figured it out.

Apparently while my wheels have been churning, so, too, have Dustin's...

"I bet they won't be very good at being married."

I felt like I'd been side-swiped. Where in the hell did that come from???
"How do you figure, Dusty???" Enlighten me, child. I am on the edge of my seat.

"Well, when you're married, you can't have everything you want."

Huh-uh. You did not just say that, son.

"No, you can't, Dusty. Sometimes you have to sacrifice when you are married, don't you?"

"Yep."

"Like when Rob wanted to go to North Dakota this year and I had told him all along we didn't have the money. He kept saying he was going and I kept saying he wasn't. And we didn't have the money and he didn't go, huh?"

"Yeah."

We won't talk about Mom's I Wants List, sugar. We never talk about Mom's I Wants List. The only Wants we ever talk about are Rob's Wants...mine are rarely voiced.

Wish in one hand....

At this point, I realize my son is going to live in either a hotel, a trailer or quite possibly a pull-behind camper and he's never getting married.

We're getting a little closer to school when we happen upon a conversation about a teenager we know that has just gotten a new, very desirable video game. Dustin announces, "He acts like a nine-year old with those video games. He just plays and plays and plays them. He doesn't let anyone else play. It's just all for him. He's such a nine-year old. His girlfriend broke up with him because he's such a nine-year old with his video games. It's just alllll he wants to do, Mom, and it's just really annoying."

"What your saying is that nine-year olds are alot less mature as opposed to ten-year olds, Dusty???" If you haven't figured this out by now, Dusty is at that ripe-old, mature age of ten.

Dustin pipes up with a very self-righteous, "Well, yeah. He acts like a nine-year old."

"You're saying that one year makes all the difference?"

"Yep." He's sure.

I beg to differ.

Don't go getting too full of yourself, honey. Most of the men in my life have not passed the ripe old age of sixteen when it comes to mental maturity. As a matter of fact, your father told me your brother, at the tender age of thirteen, has surpassed him in mental maturity. It's one of the few times in our long and illustrious relationship that I can truly agree with your father...