We'd left the hair salon and were on our way to WalMart to pick up hose-repair parts, 800 feet of hose, and not a one without a leak...when a UPS truck passed in front of us...
From the back seat comes this conversation:
"Dillon, I know what UPS stands for!" Dustin proudly announced. I thoroughly doubted he possessed this information, only being nine and all. Before I could pop up and ask what UPS stands for, Dillon did.
"United States Appearances."
Dillon started to laugh, I reached for my daily list and flipped it over, writing furiosly.
"No, Dustin, I don't think so, Mom's writing down what you said..."
Since I'm always saying Dustin's just like my Dad, I'll have to make it a point to ask Dad what UPS stands for.
Dillon and I got out of the car, Dustin fell out of the car....
I headed for the garden center: hummingbird feeder, bird seed, hose-repair parts. Between the front door (the one closest to the garden center) and the first aisle I entered (bird seed), my kids were already in trouble. Unfortunately for me, WalMart has survellience cameras posted everywhere to catch people shop-lifting and abusing their children. Therefore, I was unable to beat the living tar out of them, so I was forced to twist Dustin's hair around my finger and then I stepped on Dillon's foot.
I've always said my children would be better behaved if I beat them, but this isn't entirely true, they were goofing around and bouncing off the shelves by the time I got to the next aisle: hose parts & hummingbird feeders. Literally three aisles away.
They got into trouble again, each being assigned a seperate floor tile. I couldn't do much worse, there was an associate helping me with hose parts.
From there we stopped off in the hair grooming section, picked up peroxide,and Motrin (I'm afraid to drug them with anything stronger than children's Motrin, although I've been sorely tested).
We proceeded to check-out, whereupon they were bouncing off those aisles. They were so busy impressing me, I could hardly tolerate it.
"How are you today?" the cashier inquired.
"Fine. I'm not sure why I'm ever concerned someone will snatch them, they're so well-behaved and all..."
Dustin overhears this exchange, "You think we were good?"
"Always buffing your halo, honey, always busy buffing your halo."
"What's a halo?" Dustin asks.
"Something angels wear."
"You think we were good?"
No. Not at all. At that moment in time, I'm thankful I couldn't ever get pregnant again....
Bless their little hearts. If there'd been three of them, as in Lil's case, I'd be out of my mind right now....
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